Friday, February 25, 2011

Changing my perspective

I really really don't like having nothing to do. It never seems to work out well. It was disappointing when I arrived last week to discover that nothing was prepared in terms of training or IT access, and starting on Monday (as I'd asked) would have been perfectly fine. That was hard, finding out that I could have waited a few extra days and spent more time with family and friends in Australia. An empty weekend forced me to begin to acknowledge and deal with all the changes that have occurred in the last few weeks of my life. Attempting to learn how to relax and rest, which I am definitely not good at. I've cried most days and wondered on multiple occasions whether I have made the right decision returning to England, or if I am making a mistake. I guess time will only tell. I'd like to think though, that God will use every situation I land myself in (voluntarily or not) to teach me, help me grow, change me. I've been reading alot of Ecclesiastes and I think that I'm going through a bit of a season of having to let go and just wait.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 A Time for Everything

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

The sunshine I woke up to

I'm learning to appreciate more and more on how blessed I am, and stop focussing on petty little things. I have it really good, and I need to refocus my perspective. I have a good upbringing and education and good health and safety in the environment I am in. Yesterday morning, just when I needed some warmth, the sun came out for the hour that I went walking in the morning, and it totally made my day seeing that tiny bit of blue sky and some warmer rays. Today the sun was shining all day! God is good.

Take the Congo, for example. Women and children there are being raped by militia using it as a weapon much cheaper than bullets. NGOs believe that one in three females have been raped. One in three! And then, thirty percent of those women are infected with HIV, a condition they will have for the rest of their lives. In comparison, the things I don't like about my life are minescule.

On a 'lighter' note. It am enjoying working in a hospital again, the little things that make you smile. If you've watched scrubs before, well most of the time it's a pretty accurate depictation of some of the silliness that can go on, the funny things you can overhear, the shenanigans that patients get up to... the chasing around trying to find patient notes, the patient who can't recognise the nurses who have been looking after him and think s they are all gorgeous, the patients who tell you they are eating when they actually aren't, the smile on patient's faces when you as a dietitian are ENCOURAGING them to eat even more cheese, chocolate, cream, butter, biscuits, chips... the irony of people with lung cancer standing out the front of the entrance of an oncology centre with their drip stands chain smoking...

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