Thursday, July 21, 2011

Reality TV

Sometimes working a hospital you do feel like you are in a TV drama series. You never know just who you might be seeing, it changes every day. Last week I had my record low patient at 26kg (yes 26kg and no they weren't 9 years old, they were 82) and this week I have one of my highest weighing patients, currently at 130kg (but 10 months ago they were 227kg).

I have been known to say that being in a hospital is exactly like the TV series Scrubs. Sometimes things happen and patients (or staff) say things that just crack you up and you just have to hear to believe. Some little beauties I heard today:
Nurse: "Would you be able to give us a urine sample"
Patient: "I make a lovely one"

Patient: (when asked why refusing meds) "I find when I take tablets they go straight to my legs"

Doctor: (performing a mini mental test) Now this might seem like a silly question, but can you tell me what the year is?
Patient: ooooh.. well... that is a tough one....
Doctor: Take a guess
Patient: Well... I suppose what I should do is look at the clock.... or I could ask someone.. oohhhh.....

Patient: "The doctor came and did a test and they've determined that I'm not quite right in the head" (Referring to deterioration of her mental capacity and dementia).

(Junior) Doctor: "We just use alot of big words, and then if we don't know we hand it to the consultants who have learnt even bigger words"

On a more serious note, the entire hospital at the moment has been very stressed and on high alert due to contaminated saline solutions, and prayers that the situation will be sorted out quickly would be much appreciated. That the hype and the media will calm down and everyone can get back on with their roles.

Oh and guess what! Right now, the train that I am on apparently has a high security risk because someone has abandoned a black case with a yellow tag in the doorway of one of the carriages. So fingers crossed I'll make it safely back to Liverpool... I'm sure I will but you never know. There is no such thing as 'safe' in this life,  no matter where you go hey.

1 comment:

  1. Haha. It's true, hospitals and ambulances hear many a funny thing. Hope you made it off the train safely.