I was encouraged over the weekend that I should start a blog of my expeditions over the coming months, and thought I would give it a go. Many thanks to Ben Purdy for his excellent choice of name! :)
Its currently 2.58am (Don't tell my parents!) and I am less than 10 hours away from the beginnings of a new journey, season or chapter in my life. One that I am hoping and praying that will help me get a bit closer to the major thing I don't know in life - what I want. There are many things I like, but I don't know what I want - with work, living arrangements, church, relationships - and because of this I struggle with feelings of being fake and a failure.
I know God is there, supporting me, helping me and guiding me, but I struggle with knowing how He does that, and incorporating it into my life. I believe that I do have a purpose in life, or direction. I just don't know what it is yet!
As to what lies ahead for me in the next 3 months, I don't know. People keep asking me if I am scared, or saying that I must be brave. I don't think either applies - it's more likely to be naivety or stubbornness to prove a point that I actually can follow through with what I say I can at times! I just want God to move me, change me, grow me, make me more than what I am today. Somehow I think this might help.
For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give a hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. -Jeremiah 29:11-13
As a last note I thought I'd add in one of my favourite verses. I tend to just focus on the plans and future side and overlook the last 2 verses. However in this next season I want to be seeking God more and relying on myself less.